ICU my friend

Did you catch my double entendre in the title? Trying to be a clever writer and failing with pride ha ha ha!

Anyway, one can well imagine that I have become very comfortable in ICU with Michael officially reaching the 10 day mark of his stay. I'm at hospital for about 5 hours every day. I pop in to see Michael for 10 to 30 minutes at a time, depending on what's happening in the ward, and the rest of my time is spent either expressing or working in the waiting area.

I have gotten to know some of the nurses who tell me about their kids, their pets, their favourite foods and favourite funny videos on Facebook. They also tell me amazing stories about memorable patients; babies and children who survive against all odds or interesting situations they have experience in surgical ICU. The team is quite a wonderful group and they're all very relaxed and friendly. Michael has been a case study for three nurses who are completing their course on paediatric cardiothoracic work and I happily gave consent because there's no harm in helping to further the education of enthusiastic healthcare professionals.

I'm also getting to know some of the parents of other patients. There's Casey who I have written about before. We message and email each other to check in on our kids' progress. I met Christina just yesterday after her son had surgery. He's 5 and the nurses say it's not often they get a preschooler patient. He's the big kid among all the babies and the newest "tenant" in the ward. There's only one girl in the ward and I've told the nurses I haven't had the courage to speak to her parents yet. They always look stressed but the nurses have said maybe a friendly chat with another parent may help them and make them feel a bit more assured, especially because their little girl is improving rapidly after quite a scare last week. Finally, there's the ward's smallest but currently most senior patient because he's been there the longest. He's only a month old and he's been there for almost all of that time. I finally spoke to his mom today and now I'm helping her to find new accommodation in Cape Town as she's here from East London.

I know I'm not the first parent whose child has been there for an extended stay but it makes things a lot easier being comfortable with the people who care for my child in this time. My way of making the best of a situation has always been to integrate myself with the people and thankfully I've encountered really nice people so far. Also, we are going to be back for Michael's second surgery next year and at least we'll be going back into a situation we now know and trust.

While I am trying to not be a nuisance and also choosing to have some days where I only visit once, ICU has become a bit of a second home filled with interesting aunties, quiet children I can only gaze upon from the safe zone of Michael's bassinet, the melodic beeps and flashing colours of the monitors and the oh so unforgettable scent of antibacterial gel.

Just a little drama

Michael is definitely giving us one helluva adventure in hospital. 

The week was fairly tricky and he started to look like me might show improvement over the weekend. Well, we were wrong. The nurses tried over a few days to get Michael off the respirator because he wasn't requiring any additional air, just some pressure assistance. If he was breathing on his own, it was logical to take him off the machines. 

The attempt on Saturday morning didn't go well. He reacted badly and ended up being put back on the ventilator to give him a rest and he needed a visit from the cardiologist. While the suspicion was that there was fluid around his heart, it turned out that his heart was fine and there was in fact fluid around his lungs. He got some medication to encourage the fluid to be absorbed and flushed out and he was taken off the ventilator. 

It was something quite amazing to see him awake after a week of seeing him asleep or sedated. I kept him company while the nurse prepared but I was asked to take a walk while they removed his tubes. The nurses said he definitely found his voice again and was doing fine but would need a bit of pressure assistance which was ok. I jumped and cheered in the ward when I saw him free of the ventilator - such a nerd. 

His surgeon said the chest infection and his struggle with breathing was a setback but he was doing really well and all it takes now is some patience to allow him to recover at his own pace. It boggles my mind that he went from being on a ventilator, off the ventilator, on the respirator, off the respirator and then back on the ventilator and off again all in one week. But, all that matters is he is out of danger and improving...little by little he is moving forward. 

Got milk?

With Michael receiving a limited controlled amount of breastmilk in ICU, I found myself sitting with a whole lot of breastmilk going nowhere except down the drain. This was fun for the first 2 days because I allowed myself a glass of wine and I could finally eat a bit of dark chocolate.

But then the novelty wore off and I wondered what to do with all the milk I had to continue expressing. And that's when I decided to donate my milk. I called Milk Matters and made arrangements with them to become a new donor. They told me I could collect bottles from them and, by the following morning, I was well on the wagon for milk donation. After just 3 days, I've filled almost 15 bottles and my freezer looks like a milk depot LOL!

So why donate?

It occurred to me that the reason I was continuing this crazy routine of pumping every 3-4 hours was to give my baby the best nutrition possible. For many moms and babies, this isn't possible and there are helpless little babies who would benefit greatly from receiving breastmilk. With my own child in ICU, I wanted to be able to do a small bit to help another baby and all it would cost me is the time expressing which I was already doing. Donating was a win-win situation for both me and Milk Matters.

Now my routine is to express for Michael in the morning and then my donated feeds are the afternoon and evening. I am hoping to continue donating for as long as possible because I only discovered Milk Matters shortly after Wren went on to formula feeding and it's something I have been wanting to do since then. While I never know where this milk will go eventually, it does brighten our situation to know that I am doing just a small bit to help other children grow big and strong.