Oh baby, baby

It's been five glorious weeks since Wren-Lee came into our lives. Things have changed but it's definitely been for the better. We wouldn't trade anything for the indescribable joy she's brought into our lives.

I'm happy to report that she's a wonderful baby. She sleeps 3-4 hours at a stretch and goes up to 6 hours at night if she's had a good day and a good feed. She wakes up quietly and is rather economical with her crying, using it only if she absolutely has to. Believe me, she's got quite a voice! I've learnt to distinguish between her crying for hunger and the infamous "I'm tired now and moaning about it" cry. She feeds like a little monster but is healthy and growing well. Of course, every baby has an off day and Wren-Lee's prone to those too, mostly because she's overtired. We've had incidents of having to drive her around just to get her to doze off, days where she just doesn't feel like sleeping and recently there was an evening where she was so overtired she ended up sleeping for 6 hours straight followed by a feed and then another 5 hour sleep. Our favourite story so far is the night where she was fighting her fatigue at 2am. Trevor and I decided to pop her in the car so we got up to get dressed. In the five minutes we spent turning on lights and the TV and getting clothes on, she fell asleep lying on our bed. Never a dull moment with this one.

She's still quite small and some of her newborn clothing doesn't fit her properly yet. In fact, she has two pairs of premature baby pants which still don't quite fit and we've had people asking us how many days old she is when she's already more than a month old. Wren-Lee loves to bath but doesn't like being taken out of the water. There's usually a commotion until she gets her clothing on. Changing her nappy is a happy event and she's remarkably ok with cold wet wipes. While her daddy hasn't quite mastered the art of getting her to go to sleep, she does enjoy being with him and he can calm her down when I can't sometimes. He was also smart enough to pick up that she sometimes can't fall asleep in total silence after her middle-of-the-night feed and having the TV on helps that process.

Wren-Lee is great with noise, loves being in the car and is quite social. People dote on her because of her size and the fact that she looks like a baby vervet monkey...ok, I think she's a cute baby vervet monkey. On the rare occasion she's awake in social settings, she charms everyone. She even got her paediatrician to admit that she's extremely cute. Speaking of the paediatrician, we had to see him at 3 weeks when she developed acid reflux. We had 3 very difficult days of screaming and crying and I just knew it was reflux. I had hoped to keep her free of medication for quite some time but there's no point in holding on to that notion when your child is in pain. Thankfully, her medication worked almost immediately and her intake was drastically reduced after a week. She's not keen on the taste of her medication but I've tasted it and it's awful. Yuck!

As for us, we think we're getting the hang of this parenting thing. It's been an adjustment learning to pack an extra bag everywhere we go, getting into bed by 9pm and being mindful of her feeding schedule and bath time when we plan our day. Even cooking dinner has to be worked around feeding and bathing. It's literally a "take it one day at a time" situation for us. Trevor and I have good days where we work well together and bad days where we're a little snappy with each other. We talk about it and don't let it get in the way of us enjoying our daughter.

Despite the broken sleep, the physical tiredness from breastfeeding, constantly checking the clock to make sure she's in her routine, running around like crazy trying to finish dinner before Wren's bath, sitting up at all hours with a baby who's more interested at staring at me than closing her eyes and sleeping, there are moments when she makes all that drama worth while. It's when she stares at me, her eyes suddenly light up and then she gives me the biggest smile, I can't help but admit that she's the best thing that ever happened to us.

The Drama: Part 2

...And so Trevor was in the ER again.

The diagnosis was bronchitis. He'd stopped taking his chest infection meds to heal his stomach from the virus and the infection escalated to bronchitis. The doctor told him we weren't allowed home until Wednesday. Effectively, Trevor would be missing 5 days of the first week of Wren-Lee's life. We were devastated.

Everyone was pretty surprised that I hadn't collapsed into a sobbing heap yet. Truth be told, my mind was in business mode. I had to be strong to take care of my baby and keep Trevor positive because he was obviously heartbroken. I just kept reminding myself that it was better for him to get healthy so he could enjoy his time with her when we got home.

Amidst all this, I was also frantically planning Wren-Lee's baptism which came about quite suddenly. My dad's schedule conflicted with the date we'd originally planned and so we shifted her baptism forward to the coming Sunday. She'd be 10 days old and it would be beautifully serendipitous that Wren-Lee would be baptised with Sienna. I was elated that we would be sharing such a special moment with Natalie and Duane.

Finally, Wednesday dawned and we went home. Trevor was cautious with Wren-Lee but was clearly happy to have his girls home. I ended up taking care of him as he was still very much in recovery but we were enjoying late night feeds and getting to know our daughter.

The baptism was lovely and our mothers took care of just about everything. Wren-Lee was an angel and slept all through the service and all of the tea gathering afterward. It was so good to see friends and family and feel somewhat normal again. Unfortunately, Trevor's body took a knock and he spent most of the afternoon and evening in bed and it ended up being a good thing.

The Monday morning I woke up with mastitis. I had all the flu like symptoms and felt like I'd been hit by a train. At last roles were reversed and Trevor had to look after me. While I was doing my best to fight through feeling awful, I still had to breastfeed Wren which was the best treatment for the infection. Thankfully, it cleared up in 24 hours. That Wednesday, we had a lovely breakfast to celebrate our anniversary and had an afternoon of laughter with our friends.

Now, with all the stress I'd been through you'd expect that I would get baby blues. I didn't. Well, not in the conventional sense. I did crack a few times once I was home and cried a few times but for different reasons. I cried when I was angry then again when I was beyond tired one afternoon and another time when Trevor looked like he was getting sick again. That was pretty much it. Trevor will tell you that I can be a bit abrupt and short tempered sometimes but at least the crying was very minimal and occurred with valid reasons.

After all this drama, we did get to spend a few happy days together before Trevor's leave ended. It was great to just be home alone and indulge in being a little family. While I certainly wouldn't wish what happened to us on anyone, it certainly did make for a great story for Wren-Lee to hear someday.

The Drama: Part 1

The day after Wren-Lee's birth, I had to deal with getting up for the first time, having my drip removed, having blood drawn and a million other check-ups. Trevor was there from early morning to help me through the day and spend time with the kiddo.

He went home in the afternoon to have a nap and wasn't feeling well by early evening. During the evening visiting session, he disappeared for more than half an hour and went home before visiting time was up. He sent me a message later that night complaining of stomach gripes and I was pretty worried. At 1am, while I was up feeding Wren, I got a photo from Trev; he was hooked up to a drip in the ER. The diagnosis was a stomach virus and it was contagious. He told me to have a talk with my doctors during morning rounds and find out how we should proceed. Obviously, he wouldn't be visiting us again.

The next morning, I told Dr van Waart what happened and she told me to spend the weekend at my parents' house. Trevor needed to get better and it would be too risky to expose our new baby to an infection. I spent the rest of the day and night taking photographs and messaging Trev every few hours. His heart was breaking as he was stuck in bed, separated from his daughter.

Saturday dawned and I was pretty sad. We had been planning and looking forward to bringing our baby home from hospital and I was leaving alone, not going to my own home. We had to stop by the house so i could grab clothes and baby supplies. Trevor was allowed to see Wren but not touch her. He looked awful! It was pretty obvious he was incredibly ill and miserable. I had to be strong for his sake and mine and finished packing in a few short minutes.

My parents and brother made my first day home quite pleasant. Wren was an absolute superstar and fed and slept like an angel. I was still messaging Trev every mundane detail about every feed, facial expression and dirty nappy baby girl produced. Although he couldn't be with us, I wanted him to feel connected and not miss any more of the experience.

Sunday came along and I was counting the hours till my family would be reunited. I called Trev to see how he was doing and he complained of being short of breath. I insisted he go to the doctor again but he wanted to wait till the next morning. He assured me he'd be ok and I had a feeling something bad was going to happen.

Early evening, I got the message I was both dreading and expecting; "Honey, I'm going to the ER again."

My heart sank...

D-Day Part 2: "Hello monkey!"

5am: Trevor and I woke up and just lay in bed for a minute realising that in a few hours our baby would be born. I was finally feeling truly excited and was grinning from ear to ear as I got ready for the incredibly short drive to hospital. I didn't have the best night of sleep and it felt like there was pointed pressure on my cervix but I was alert and rested. Wren was wiggly and active from the time I woke up. We chatted about normal stuff as Trev ate breakfast but we were both quietly contemplating the C-section and meeting our little person.
6am: I got to have my one glass of apple juice and it was a quick 2 min drive to Durbanville Mediclinic. We got checked in and strolled into the maternity ward just as all the other moms were having breakfast. I was hungry.

7am: Lots of paperwork! I got one one of those sexy hospital gowns and settled into my bed for the long wait till 9am. The nurse strapped me into the fetal heart rate monitor and still Wren refused to settle. She had a loud case of hiccups while the heart rate monitor was one and I laughed at the sound of her "hic" between the heart beats. Eventually, Dr van Waart checked in looking super chipper at 7:30. The nurse handed her the print out from the heart rate monitor and she told me there was something she wanted me to see. She pointed to the page and said, "There's the baby's heart beat...and those are your contractions. You've started labour."
Yes. Labour. No jokes!
I learnt that pointed pressure I'd felt all night was me going into natural labour. Fortunately, it was still so early that the C-section would be done before it got serious and I didn't even feel the contractions. My doc said that ultimately Wren-Lee had chosen her birth date and would've gotten stuck had we not scheduled the C-section for that morning. God really did look out for us!

9am: After a looooong wait (and me being really hungry!), I was finally wheeled off to the surgical centre. My mom was already at the hospital and waved me off. Trevor was put into scrubs and became my own McSteamy :-) As I was wheeled into the theatre, the theatre nurse looked at me and said, "Erin is that you?" Well, massive surprise, it was Jana Swanepoel, my neighbour for a decade and classmate in high school. I found a friendly face even in the theatre!

Now, it was time for the drugs. The local anaesthetic burned like hell! Whoa! But the spinal block was spectacular! It felt like stars all over my legs and then I couldn't feel anything from my chest down which was rad. Our chosen paediatrician, Dr Willem Smit, came to introduce himself and chatted gadgets with Trev and I as he took pics and my doc started the procedure. Mere seconds after starting she gave the heads up that we'd hear baby's voice pretty soon.
Next thing, she and her assistant are pushing on my abdomen and then...

Heaven...that first cry...that was my baby crying..MY BABY...OUR BABY...Wren-Lee had been born...

And then my doctor held up this little person and I couldn't believe how small she was. I looked at Trevor and just loved him even more when I saw his eyes light up at the sight of his daughter. Beyond that, I cannot describe the intense happiness and love I felt realising she was finally out.

10am: Wren is placed on my chest and stares intensely at Trevor and I. I'm in awe of my child. Then, she and Trev leave and head back to the ward for her measurements and check up with Dr Smit. I'm left chatting to the team in the theatre. Well, I chatted all the way through the procedure LOL!

11am: I finally get taken back to the ward and, much to my surprise, my dad is there. My parents are taking photos of Wren and Trev's having a talk with Dr van Waart. I feel totally fine and was really happy when the nurse finally brings Wren along for her first feed. It's weird but normal at the same time. I still can't believe how small she is. My parents stay and chat for a bit and give Trev a chance to grab some food. They don't stay too long as visiting hours are over and, as they leave, I see a woman with red hair who looks very familiar strolling up the passage. It turned out that she was on old high school mate of mine. Small world!!! Trev comes back and we're left to bask in the happiness of our little bundle.

As for the rest of the day, we just sat back, relaxed and enjoyed our visitors. Wren-Lee got to stay in the room with us for most of the afternoon and evening and I was happy to see friends and family. My brother had the best reaction of all. He visibly melted when he met his niece and my friend Tanya patiently taught him how to hold her properly. It was adorable!

Eventually, it got quiet and I was left with Wren-Lee. As night time settled in and the lights were turned off in the ward, I looked at my daughter and smiled as we sat in the dark together.

D-Day Part 1: "No frikkin way!!!"

The story of Wren-Lee's arrival is pretty darn awesome so I've decided to relay it in parts so you can read it in smaller chunks. Also, I'm writing this 5 weeks down the line and on a 3-4 hour feeding schedule so it gives me time to write in bits and pieces.
Thinking like a mommy :-)

So, from the last post here's what happened:

After a week of lots of walking and doing everything humanly possible to get Wren-Lee to drop, the big appointment day arrived. But, typical of our Drayton drama, Trevor got sick. He ended up at the GP's office at 9am, was diagnosed with a chest infection and put off work for two days. Still, he accompanied me to our appointment with Dr van Waart at noon seeing as it was pretty important.

The doc did what can only be described as the quickest internal exam ever. I was literally on the table for 30 seconds when she said, "Nope, your cervix is ready but your pelvis is too small. We need an ultrasound."

She then showed Trevor how to feel Wren's head and explained that she's was too high up to be born naturally. We did the ultrasound and discovered that her head was 1.5cms too big for my pelvis. And that's when the bomb dropped: "Erin, we're doing a C-section and you're having this baby tomorrow."

WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!? TOMORROW!!!!!! NO.FRIKKIN.WAY!!!

And that's when I started crying. I cried even more when she said that we'd be delivering at 9am...a mere 20 hours from that point. It was just a bit much to take in. My brain was reeling. Trevor was beaming.

Once I was calmer, doc explained the whole procedure and advised us on the admin we'd have to do in preparation for the next day. She assured me again that I had done everything I could but it was time to hand over the reigns and just be a happy mommy when Wren arrived. We ran from her office to the hospital to sort out admission and then I totally broke down in the car, sobbing all the way home. I was in total emotional overload and felt much better once I let it all bubble out.
The next few hours were frantic. I was cleaning, packing, calling the medical aid, calling my beauty therapist for help with hospital questions and generally just trying to orchestrate everything without falling to pieces. Trevor was ordered to rest as much as possible so he could handle the load of responsibility the next day seeing as I'd be out of action.

The rector of our congregation popped in to come pray with us and check that we were okay. I was still running around like a headless chicken when he arrived but felt much better after the prayer.

And then my friends and family did something amazing. They quietly arranged dinner and descended upon the house for an impromptu send off "party". It was a wonderful evening around the dinner table and they even packed the dishwasher and cleaned up afterward! I had to hold back the tears after everyone had left because the house was overflowing with love.

So, once everyone was gone and Trev was in bed, I still took time to double check my suitcase and flat iron my hair. Once in bed, I had a talk with Wren and wept as I told my little girl that this would be our last night sleeping together as one. I assured her that everything would be ok and that we were all excited to meet her.

And with that thought I drifted off to sleep, ready for the biggest day of my life.